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.: The Blogger :. No more a full-time student Is a fan of coffee Can be random at times, as you can see.
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Tuesday, August 31, 2010I wish I was Superman.
It's the time of the day / night / week / month again where my built-up angst seems to be overflowing, so much so that I cannot stop it from flowing out of my body anymore. All it takes is one / two triggers and the amount of angst increases exponentially.
I don't know what I get myself into or do. Why did I bother volunteering for this and that, and in the end burning my pocket / my mood. Yes I'm talking about toastmasters. I don't know what I was thinking when I accepted the position of Division Governor. And I stare at myself in the mirror and never fail to wonder what I'm doing, why I'm doing, or what I'm doing it for. I seem to have lost / forgotten the reason for wanting to volunteer / serve etc. Why not channel all these time to earning money instead? So that I can be like the many people around me, owning cars, and even property? Why not channel my time to starting my own business so that I don't have to look at others with looks of enviousness who owns their personal business / companites and are doing very very well in them? At the end of the day, I can't justify why I volunteer to serve, especially serving unappreciative people. I feel so fake everyday, smiling when I'm angry, smiling when I'm angsty, smiling when I'm unhappy, all these just to put on a brave front and to tell the world I'm superman and nothing can bring me down? I wish I was Superman. At least Superman can fly, and I certainly can use this skill and fly away from crap. Or maybe I should go into private business. Don't see the point of doing charity anymore.
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